Benjamin's Birth Story

It's possible that having a baby in the car might be every pregnant woman's worst fear. I think it was a reasonable worry for me in particular based on a few factors - 1) My labor with  with Alexander was relatively quick for a first born and 2) If fast labors are genetic then baby Benjamin hit the jackpot - both Arthur's mother and mine actually DID give birth to our younger brothers in the car! So why was I driving alone, 30 minutes away from home on the day I went into labor...

My entire pregnancy Benjamin was measuring "big"...meaning the size of my belly didn't correspond to the projected due date based on my cycle. I had no health issues, the pregnancy was progressing normally, and according to my ultrasounds he wasn't fat, just long. Even so, my OB was predicting a baby as much as 2 lbs bigger than Alexander! But I knew my body and this baby just didn't feel that much bigger. In fact, I had a hypothesis that this baby wasn't bigger but older. Arthur and I had a running bet that I would go into labor either March 7th or 8th. And I told anyone who asked that I thought I would have this baby before my doctor's predicted due date of March 15th. A bit of an unwise approach, I began to think, as I entered into the last few weeks of my pregnancy. What if I DIDN'T have him before the 15th? Or even worse, what if I went past the 15th!? Would I have a 10 lb baby!? So of course, like any woman in her last month of pregnancy...I tried to stop obsessing about when it would happen and just go about my life. Which is why that afternoon I decided to head out alone to run an errand about 30 mins away from home.

About 10 minutes after I left the house I had my first labor contraction. I looked at the clock, 4:29 PM, but didn't turn around. I thought it could have been a strong Braxton-Hicks. But 10 minutes later I had another one. And another one 10 minutes later, this time stronger. I decided at that point that I should probably head home. The contractions kept coming and I kept an eye on the clock...10 minutes apart each time. And then I called Arthur. I think I said something along the lines of "I'm about 90% sure I've started labor contractions so you might want to get Xander some dinner in case we have to leave tonight." As you can imagine, Arthur was NOT very pleased with me for driving around while having contractions!

When I got home we sat down to dinner with Xander. Arthur made our traditional Sunday night pizza but I wasn't feeling like eating much so I had a piece of peanut butter toast. I figured if I was going into labor it would be wise to have something in me for energy. As with my first labor, I was concerned about getting to the hospital too soon. But the contractions started to ramp up quickly and I knew that it was probably time. Arthur gave Xander a quick bath, put him to bed, and called our friend Laila to spend the night with Xander. I was bent over the car, breathing through a contraction when she arrived and I was so grateful to see her because I knew I wouldn't have to worry about Xander any more!

Saying goodnight to Xander as we were about to leave for the hospital.
Don't let that smile fool you...I was having contractions during this picture!

As we headed to the hospital I remember asking Arthur between contractions, "Do you think we're going too soon?" I was terrified they'd turn me away for some reason. Arthur just laughed at me. I guess it was obvious to him that we were definitely NOT too soon. When we arrived Arthur wheeled me up to the natural birth floor, the same floor we had Alexander only 19 month prior! It was comforting to be in a familiar environment this time. Much to my relief, I was admitted around 8:30 PM. It took about 30 minutes for us to get into our room and the contractions were INTENSE while I waited.

We finally got into our room around 9 PM and let our midwife know that I wanted to labor and possibly give birth in the tub. I tried the tub with Xander's labor but only stayed in for about 30 minutes. But I really wanted to try to have a water birth this time...for many reasons. So Arthur ran the bath for me and I got in. Oh man, the hot water felt amazing. The room was quiet and dark and our midwife basically stayed out of the way. I got the impression that she felt like we knew what we were doing. She was around if we needed her but otherwise she was really in the background. I really liked that!

View from our 7th floor room. If it was day
you would be able to see the fjord in the distance.

I can't say enough about how wonderful it was this time to labor in the water. It felt safe, and because it was so big there was only really one side where people could reach me. About 45 minutes after getting in the water I felt the urge to push. Arthur alerted the midwife who, true to form, quietly and calmly showed up with 2 other midwives. While giving birth in the water is allowed at the hospital there are a few precautions that must be taken and only a certain midwives that feel comfortable with this type of birth. But I feel like they trusted me to know what to do...and I trusted them too.

Our room and tub shortly after Benjamin was born

After 7 loooooooong minutes of pushing he was here! I was shocked that it went that fast, to be honest. They laid him on my chest and he was perfect. And he was loud! He came out with a voice and an opinion! Although he was born 9 days earlier than his predicted due date, he was only 1.5 hours earlier than the due date I had predicted! And although he was born quickly, at least he waiting until we got to the hospital!

At this point, we were just in bliss that he was finally here. I was quickly rinsed off and wrapped in warm, clean clothes and then crawled into bed with my little newborn. Arthur laid in bed with us and we marveled at our perfect son.

Benjamin Terry Stautzenberger
born March 6
Stavanger, Norway
3.99 kg ~ 51 cm

Read about Alexander's birth story here: Part 1 and Part 2

20 Weeks - Small Fry #2

Check out my 20 week post with Alexander HERE

How many weeks: 20 weeks and 5 days (halfway there already!!)

What size is baby: banana, 6.5 inches and 10.6 oz.

Movement: Just like Alexander, I first felt #2 start moving around 14 weeks. It's been pretty consistent movement ever since. It seems like we've got TWO active boys in our future! Arthur hasn't felt him move yet but it's only a matter of time.

New symptoms: Although my nausea was much better this time than it was with Alexander, the exhaustion has been much worse. The nausea faded after the first trimester but the exhaustion still lingers. Could it have something to do with the fact that in addition to being pregnant, I also have a very active, very demanding toddler? Perhaps. My back is doing OK. I know not to push my limits and try to limit my walking to no more than 10 minutes at a time.

Cravings: As with Alexander, I haven't really had any CRAZY cravings. They seem to be more about what I can't get here in Norway...cheddar cheese, spaghetti squash, candy corn, to name a few.

Sleep: Not so great. It's not that I'm making trips to the bathroom, I'm just not sleeping very deeply. The same thing happened with Alexander but once he was born I was so exhausted for so long that I think I slept deeper those first few months than ever in my entire life!

Rings on/off: on

Best memory of the week: We have the sonogram pictures on the fridge of Baby #2. Xander loves to point them out every morning and "oooooh"s every time. We try to then show him that the baby is in mommy's tummy but I'm pretty certain that concept is WAY over his head! He'll probably be surprised when the baby arrives that he's not black and white!

Looking forward to: getting past week 25. By that point last time I had really started to decline a LOT physically. I am really anxious to see if I'm going to be as bad. I feel like these next few weeks are going to be very telling and I'm praying that my body can be stronger this time!

Baby Stautz #2

When we finally decided we were ready to have a baby nobody was more surprised than I! But finding out we are having a SECOND so soon? Well, that was a total shock. I think Bob Ross expresses it best...

Arthur and I knew we wanted more kids...for sure! I mean, Xander is pretty much the most amazing thing to happen to either of us. And hes just so damn cool! But I was still very much recovering from his pregnancy. My back pain had finally reached a level that I could function without it being a constant distraction and I was looking forward to easing into a more active lifestyle this fall. But the pregnancy and the recovery afterwards was such a terribly traumatic experience for us both that we were seriously looking into and praying about other ways of having another child...either surrogacy or adoption. But my heart wasn't in either.

So while I was back in Texas I did what every expat does...I LOADED up on cheap stuff. Stuff I didn't really even need but that I might have a use for down the road. For some reason, in the middle of all the junk food and clothes and medicine I also bought a few pregnancy tests. Just because they're so expensive here in Norway. And a few days after returning from Texas I had a funny feeling...so on a whim, I took one.

Now picture this...I've literally got Xander balanced on my hip, we've just moved into a new house (...more on that later) so we're all living out of suitcases, Xander and I are both jet-lagged to the max...and the test comes back positive. Um...? Huh? I take another one. Positive. At that point I'm shaking, I text Arthur a picture and tell him he needs to come home NOW! Poor guy!

It took us a good 48 hours, a lot "oh my gosh"s, some tears, and prayers to process the new road we were now on. But we both immediately knew that this child was a result of God's plan because it certainly hadn't been ours. And all we had to do was look at Xander and we both KNEW that this was right for us.

I am now well into my second trimester I still can't believe that there is a perfect little life growing inside me. Especially when I thought I would probably never experience it ever again. Now, there are certainly days that I don't want to be pregnant, that I'm terrified what having two children under two will look like. We are both scared about what this means for my recovery...so far I am doing OK. But I'm so incredibly thankful that God is the writer of our life story. I have so much faith that this new road we're on is a million times better than what we had planned for ourselves...no matter what happens to my back. We will have our babies. Our family will be complete.

So we are so excited to announce that we will be bringing a baby BOY into our family next March! We ask that you continue to pray for my health and the health of this little boy.

Welcome Baby Stautz #2!

Life Lately

Just a quick check-in...I've not forgotten about our little family blog!

We just got back from our whirl-wind trip to Texas. Can I really call it a "whirl-wind" even though it was 3 weeks? It really seemed to fly by! There is so much to share from our trip - Alexander's baptism, Halloween, and meeting family and friends! All in posts to come soon hopefully!

I know all of y'all have been pretty concerned about my back. Thank you so for your encouragement and prayers. I had an MRI in Norway before leaving for the states. The results were a ruptured disc, torn spinal ligaments, and some disc deterioration...basically the back of a 60 year old. The good news...it should get better with time and physical therapy. The bad news...running is NOT recommended (I'm just gonna ignore that) and I have to be patient (a virtue I simply do NOT possess).

I think I basically had the perfect storm of stress on my back and hips in the last year. Between pregnancy and labor, packing and moving across the world, and my own stubbornness to slow down I've done a number on my body. I'm doing physical therapy and looking into an alternative to running...maybe swimming and yoga. I need some endorphins STAT!!!

Thank you to everyone who took the time to come to Alexander's baptism, meet up, take us out to eat, have us over, and host us while we were in the states. It was truly a wonderful experience introducing our son to everyone we love back in Texas!

Stay tuned! Many posts to come soon...but for now I leave you with this gem. Don't let that innocent look fool you. Alexander has officially found his voice and it is NOT an inside voice! This kid loves to yell! He is joyful but oh so loud!

"This is Quite a Storm"

Preparedness is a personal trait that I'm quite proud of. So it would follow suit that in the months leading up to two huge life changes (moving abroad and having a child) I did A LOT of preparing...lots of reading, research, list/schedule making, organizing, and getting advice from others. Those preparations, I believe, have helped our family make a smooth transition into what could have been a train wreck of life changes! Arthur gets some serious credit here too...he is my favorite travel buddy, a solid voice of reason, a constant source of encouragement, a savvy problem solver, and (of course) the best dang husband/daddy ever...sorry...I got distracted.

Anyway, the thing I did not prepare for was the chronic pain and loss of mobility that came with Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD). At 15 weeks the pain of my jeans pressing on my pubic bone left me in tears...I wasn't even showing yet. I began buying maternity pants two sizes too big but even those were painful. By 20 weeks I was wearing mostly leggings and dresses. At 24 weeks I begged a flight attendant to let me sleep on the floor of the plane during a 10hr flight because sitting for so long made my hips burn with pain and caused muscle spasms in my back. At 28 weeks I was in pain 24/7. I couldn't walk, sit, sleep, or stand without being in the worst pain of my life. Because I was pregnant I refused to take any pain medication.

When I shared my pain with my midwife in the states she said, "Pregnancy is supposed to be uncomfortable." But when I broke down in front of my new midwife in Norway she knew this was not normal and immediately referred me to a chiropractor and physical therapist. I was told I had SPD (called "bekkenløsning" here) and that it would most likely go away immediately after labor.

The last two weeks of pregnancy are the worst for any women and I was no exception. I had begun to consider begging for an induction so I'm very thankful Alexander came on his due date! But I knew the very next day after labor that I had not made a spontaneous recovery. I continued to have all the same symptoms but now I had a baby to care for!

I was completely unprepared for the emotional toll that came with the pain and loss of mobility. As an athlete, I had learned to push my body to get results. Now I was being told every single movement I made contributed to the pain intensifying and that the best thing I could do was remain as immobile as possible...oh and absolutely no lifting. Ok...I can do that pregnant but tell me how I'm supposed to be on bed rest and not lift my beautiful newborn baby!?

I've been told by my orthopedist (one of the 6 medical professionals I've been referred to so far) that I shouldn't run for 6-12 months. Run!? As much as I want to run I'd settle for just a walk. To walk around the mall. To walk my son around the neighborhood. To explore this beautiful country. But I've found that usually, anything more than walking around the house takes me several days to recover. It's absolutely maddening. I've gone from someone who was active and independent to sedentary and dependent. I am desperate to just lace up my running shoes and run all my frustrations out but I can't.

There are positives in all this...Arthur takes incredible care of me, my son is happy and healthy, and other than these dysfunctional hips I am healthy too. I try to have faith that there is an end in sight and to take life day by day. I am so thankful for the prayers and concern. This sucks but I will get through it! I'm looking forward to training for a half marathon, maybe even a triathlon, once this is all behind me.

And (because I'm so good at preparing) I'm planning on getting some kind of snarky yet triumphant tattoo on these rotten hips of mine to celebrate overcoming all that they put me through!